Mass Effect 4: The Road Home
by Daedalus30185
Summary: A story that kicks off right after the events of ME3. Tali and Shepard struggle with the loss of each other. Rating, lead characters and theme details will change as content is added.
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1:**_

_**Hurt**_

Miranda had been searching through the rubble that had become of the Citadel with no luck. No Shepard. Just piles of dead and dismembered bodies. "Have you found him yet?" She and her SAR team had been looking for over an hour. Between the dark and the bodies though, it was difficult to see much.

"You know, if I found him, I'm pretty fucking sure I'd have said something you walking titjob." Of course she'd had to have been paired with Jack.

The two had met thanks to Shepard nearly a year earlier on the Normandy SR-2 when he recruited the former convict. The two had barely gotten along. At one point they nearly smashed the window in Miranda's quarters as a biotic brawl was about to erupt. Luckily for the both of them, Shepard had intervened.

The last few weeks they had become rather... intimate. Though it was pretty much a love-hate relationship where they would randomly bounce between wanting to use the furniture to kill each other and moving the furniture around with their pants around their ankles, legs wrapped around their waists. Right now they were in a "kill each other" state.

This was also a bit of Shepard's doing. He made a mildly snide comment during a party about how the reason the two of them were at each others throats was due to sexual tension. Imagine his surprise that he was right.

"Urgh. I _really_ don't need to hear this." The raspy voice came from Wrex, another former squad member that joined up with Shepard to fight the Reapers a year ago. He had since been working to kill his former employers, an organization known as Cerberus. The same group that Miranda used to work for.

"Hey, I think I found him!" Jack called out.

The Commander was buried under more than a ton and a half of metal. Jack and Miranda used their biotics to throw the debris off of him, most of it falling over the walkway. "Shepard? Shepard are you in there?"

The dark blond haired man didn't respond. "Shepard! I swear if you're dead I'm going to kill you."

Miranda ran a bio-scan of him with her omni-tool. "Shit. He's barely alive. Wrex go get a doctor! Now!" The massive Krogan ran back to the makeshift landing bay.

The little armor the commander had left was badly burned and melted with his skin. The little bit of him that they could see under the armor was coated in blood. Lots of it and all his own. He probably would have been luckier if he had died, but something in him refused to let him. He had always had been described as "the most stubborn son of a bitch in human history". Miranda knew his file from the two years she spent re-building him almost from scratch, plus the so called "suicide mission" to the galactic core where he brought back his entire crew alive.

"You'll be alright Shepard. Wrex is getting a doctor. Just hang in there for a bit longer."

* * *

Tali sighed heavily, looking at her boyfriend's name. His name on a metal plate to be added to the memorial wall on Deck Three of the Normandy just off the elevator. So many of her friends names had been added in recent months. This was wrong. Everything about it was just wrong. No. He's not dead. He can't be. She dropped the plate and began crying.

"Hey, hey. It's okay." Garrus stepped forward from the group that had put the names of their former crew on the wall. He hugged her for comfort. "We'll get back. We'll find him. I promise."

"He left me." She said crying.

Samantha stepped forward and hugged her along with Garrus, the rest of the team following suite.

"I... I'll be in... in our room." She stammered out. The group made way for her as she went to the elevator but Ashley stayed with her.

"I know what you're going through." Her own eyes watering as she remembered what it felt like when she thought Shepard had died. The two had been intimate on the original Normandy, the SR-1. It took her months to put herself back together. The least she could do is help the woman she regarded as her forth sister.

"Come here." She said re-embracing the trembling quarian. "I'll stay with you as long as you need."

Ash practically carried Tali into Shepard's quarters on Deck One, setting her down on the couch he had. "Don't worry, we'll find him when we get back."

"What if... what if he... he didn't..." Tali couldn't finish before breaking down again.

All Ashley could do was hug her tighter. "You know he's the toughest, most stubborn bastard in all of human history right? I mean he came back from the dead, pulled off _two_ suicide missions and survived them. If anyone, and I do mean _anyone_ could have made it back it's him. Hell he's probably searching through the rubble looking for something to use as a wedding ring."

Ash stayed with the crying woman all night, falling asleep still holding her. She refused to leave her side. It was the least she could do for her.

* * *

**ABLE/NOVEMBER:**

_So this is another story that I'll be writing in parallel with _Rubble & Ruin_. It's not a continuation but rather a separate entity entirely. I will warn you, this will get darker in later chapters but for now it'll be fluffy. I'll give you a warning before we join the dark side. _(begins breathing in Vader's voice)


	2. Chapter 2

_I wasn't dreaming when they told me you were gone,  
I was wide awake and feeling that they had to be wrong.  
How could you leave me when you swore that you would stay?  
Now I'm trapped inside a nightmare every single f'ing day _

* * *

Chapter 2:

Bad Dreams

ONE WEEK POST-ACTIVATION:

The crew had been on a rotating schedule of keeping an eye on Tali. Garrus, Doctor Chakwas, Joker and Ashley had taken the bulk of the shifts; Ash in particular as she knew what Tali was going through, more so at least than the others did. She didn't have much trouble while she was working on repairs. It let her keep her mind focused, distracted from the fact that the massive bed was far too empty for her. It was cold without Mark there.

She had been working on the radiation shielding for the last five hours. Before that it was the sublight engines, and the FTL systems before that. Anything she could do to keep her mind busy. But it wasn't enough. Most of it felt like day-to-day maintenance work.

She had been daydreaming about Shepard and what he said before she was forced to leave him behind.

"_Come on!" Shepard helped carry her to the Normandy that was making an emergency landing to get some of the wounded that were making a charge on the Citadel beam, Garrus was slightly ahead of them. Her suit had been badly torn and she was bleeding through it._

_A team of Alliance Marines ran down the ramp clearing several of the Reaper ground troops that were attacking the assault force from both sides._

"_Here, take her." He said to Garrus when they reached the SR-2's ramp. The turian helped her up as the Normandy couldn't land as her previous model could._

"_Shepard..."_

"_You've got to get out of here Tali."_

"_I can't stay behind."_

"_Don't argue me Tali." He pleaded._

"_Don't leave me behind." Her voice was breaking, worried that she would be left behind as someone else she cared about died. Her father during her trial; the only member of her team that survived Haestrom, Kal'Reegar, died a few weeks back on Palaven. Now Mark was pushing her away. Right at the end of the road, so close to the finish line._

"_I need you to make it out of here alive Tali." He walked up to her. "Go back to Rannoch. Build yourself a home." The fear about what about to happen was as thick in his voice as it was in hers. He brought his hand up holding her head as if to say "I'm sorry about all this"._

"_I have a home." Tears were rolling down her eyes behind her purple-pink mask. He started to back away, to return with the others and charge the beam with the others in the assault force. "Come back to me."_

_He looked back, seeing the Reaper begin to focus on the frigate. "Go. GO!" He yelled._

"_No! No Shepard! Don't!" She struggled against Garrus to try and break free but it was a loosing fight. The ramp closed before she could break free of his grip._

"_Come on Tali you're in no shape to go after him! I need to get you to Chakwas!"_

"_We can't leave him! Let me go! Dammit let me go you bastard!" Tears were flowing down her face, pooling near the bottom of her mask. "Please." She collapsed to the ground. "We can't leave him. Not again..."_

_Garrus picked her up, carrying her to the elevator. She had become oddly quiet. "Tali?__Tali are you okay?"_

"Tali?" Someone shook her shoulder bringing her back to the present.

"Huh? What?" She asked, her voice as broken as the day they left Earth.

"I said are you okay? You finished the radiation shielding an hour ago." Adams said.

"Oh. Thank you." She still wasn't paying much attention. "So what's next on the list?"

"Why don't you go get something to eat? You've been working yourself ragged. Donnelly and I can take care of the breaches in the hull."

"No. I-I don't mind. Really."

"You know I could use a bite to eat myself. Come on, It's nearly dinnertime anyway." Daniels said. "Besides, I hate to eat alone."

"It's fine. I just need something to take my mind off... I just need something to keep me busy."

"Come on." Daniels said. She gently took Tali's hand leading her back to the elevator.

Tali's mind started wandering back to the cliff face where she and Shepard, or rather Shepard had killed the Reaper on Rannoch giving the quarians back her homeworld _and_ secured peace with the geth.

* * *

"_Ahh. That's it." Mark sighed as he hammered the last nail into the cottage he had built for him and Tali._

"_I swear I was going actually smash every finger again before it was done." While he was a whiz with a circuit board, wood and nails were never his strong suite._

"_It's just like you described it." Tali said, standing beside him. His new wife. First thing he did was build her the home on Rannoch she had been dreaming about for years. He put in every detail that she had requested and added a few of his own._

"_So, shall we start moving our stuff in? Kasumi apparently got furnishing for every room down to rugs for the floor and paintings for the walls." Kasumi and Tali had been close while they served together during their shared time on the SR-2 and continued to remain so after they parted when the crew finished their mission against the Collectors. "Probably best we don't ask how she got it. Even the coffee maker." He added._

"_Well there's a problem." What was strange, is there wasn't a hint of sadness in her voice._

"_What are you talking about? I thought I got everything right."_

"_You did." She walked to the front door of the cottage. "But we can't do this. Not anymore."_

"_What are you talking about?" He chuckled. She had always been bad at jokes. "We just got married."_

"_No. You just think we did."_

"_Okay, this isn't funny. What the hell are you talking about?" He approached her._

"_No. Don't." She stretched her arm out keeping him from coming closer. "You already know why. It's already happened, you just don't remember."_

"_Remember what? We flipped the switch, killed the Reapers, got married end of story."_

"_The first part was right. I'm sorry Markus."_

_She closed the door behind her as she went inside, locking it behind her._

"_Tali?" Mark knocked on the door after trying to open it._

"_Tali open up! This isn't funny anymore!" He pounded on the door to no avail._

"_Open the door dammit!"_

_The house then began to sink perfectly into the ground not taking Shepard or the potted plants that sat next to the house with it._

"_Tali get out! Get out now!" He grabbed one of the pots and slammed it against the sinking window but the pot fell to dust when he grabbed it._

"_No dammit! Tali get OUT!" He was getting desperate but nothing came to mind on what to do._

_The roof on the second floor began to fall beneath the ground layer. All Shepard could do was sit there._

"Tali!" He snapped awake in a cot, his hands shot to his eyes to cover them. That was one of the worst dreams he had in months.

Something else was... wrong. His left arm was out of position and there was something amiss about how his hand was sitting on his face.

He pulled his hands back revealing a bandaged nub where his left hand was. _Wha-What the HELL is this?_

He leaned past the edge of the cot and puked up everything that he had eaten. Which wasn't a lot since he had been in IVs for a week. It wasn't anything in fact. All he had was several dry heaves and a bit of stomach acid.

And it spilled right onto a sleeping Wrex's lap. That is, was sleeping. "Damn it Shepard! Just got 'em cleaned."

He looked to Shepard clutching his arm. "Guess you found out huh?"

"What... happened?" He choked out.

"Docs said something 'bout your omni-tool fusing to the nerves in your hands. They had to cut it off. Sorry."

He was still coming out of the coma he had been in since the Crucible was activated. "Did we... did we win?"

"Err kinda. You killed the Reapers but the blast wave took out your relay. Far as everyone can figure same happened elsewhere. We won friend. Ha-ha!" His booming voice gave him a slight grin.

"So how bad is the damage?" He rasped out, still tasting vomit.

"The explosions on the Citadel sent you flying. Even by Krogan standards you're lucky to be alive."

"Well that wouldn't be the first time would it?" He lied back down with a slight grin on his face.

"Though they did need to do some more cutting."

Shepard's eyes darted back to the red, and now with a splash of green Krogan. "What are you talking about?"

"They needed to take most of a leg when they got you. At least now we'll have a fair fight when we spar. Heh-heh-heh."

"Funny." He dismissed it as a joke. Rather sick one at that. Wrex had always needed work on his sense of humor.

"Sorry buddy, but it's gone. Take a look for yourself."

Shepard looked under the blanket. It was like Wrex said. Less than half of his right leg was there.

"What did they do?!"

"Like I said Shepard, most of it had already been smashed up in the explosion."

His head fell back on the pillow lying at the head of the cot sighing heavily. Something struck him as strange, missing limbs aside.

"Where's Tali?"

Wrex responded with silence. Not the "I'm gathering my thoughts" silence, but rather "I was really hoping I wouldn't have to tell you this" silence. Though there wasn't much difference between them.

"Wrex, where are they?" Markus repeated.

"They don't know."

"What do you mean "they don't know"? Did they make the rendezvous?"

"The relays were destroyed Shepard. Earth is dark as far as the rest of the galaxy is concerned. They say it'll be at least a month before a patch is up. Sorry I wish I had better news."

"Get out of here Wrex." Markus said in a dry tone. "Get out of here right now."

"I'll be outside if you need me."

The loyal tank of a Krogan walked out, delicately by Krogan standards and stood near the entrance to the medical tent; a large dark shadow outlined where he stood.

Shepard then put his pillow on his face and tried smothering himself with it. Half was to get some of the rage out, the other half to put himself into a dangerous enough state to wake up if it was a dream. In the end, he only wore himself out drifting off into another nightmare.

* * *

**ABLE/NOVEMBER;**

_Sorry for the delay in posting. Had to go back and re-write the half with Shepard._

_As posted with my other story, I'm back in class and re-focusing my efforts there along with social prospects. This means I'm not going to update all that frequently. Once, maaaybe twice a month will be the average._


	3. Chapter 3

**ABLE/NOVEMBER:**_ There's been some confusion on this matter so allow me to clarify, the Shepard in this story's name is "Markus". The one in my other story is "John". It helps keep them straight when I'm spooling up the creative gray matter in my coat hanger (that's self-depricating speak for "brain")._

* * *

_All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Bright and early for their daily races  
Going nowhere, going nowhere_

Chapter 3:

Not a "People Person" Anymore

ONE MONTH POST-ACTIVATION:

The door to Shepard's cabin on the Normandy chimed.

"Open." Tali said, her voice faint.

As it slid open Javik entered, the door closing behind him.

"The asa- Doctor T'Soni suggested I apologize for acting rudely during the ceremony." He said with a huff.

"Fine. Just go." She walked over to his desk and sat down mindlessly fiddling with a model of the SR-1.

"This is quite pathetic you know."

She stared him down with the darkest, angriest look imaginable. Even behind her mask, a senile Elcor could see the rage.

"Get. Out." She spat to him. It was taking everything she had to keep from beating him back to his own cynical cycle.

"Your 'mate'." He scoffed at the later part. "Has done what trillions have failed to do. Millions upon millions of years and he, a single person, drove the Reapers out of this universe in only a few years."

"I said 'Get out'. So leave."

"And yet you sit here crying. I remember when quarians had spirit in them. It appears everyone in this cycle has become too weak-willed to do anything on their own."

"GET OUT!" She was now screaming at him.

"Not until you will listen to reason. Your relationship was an illusion. A sham. The two of you were only with each other because of a lack of options."

Tali leapt up landing a right hook into his jaw at the same time Garrus came into the room to check on her.

"What happened?" He asked, startled seeing the Prothean's jaw bleeding and Tali collapsed back in the chair crying her eyes out yet again.

"I simply told her the truth. She refused to hear it."

"And what truth was that?" Garrus had a good feeling as to why his lip was bloodied now.

"That even if he survived, she is better off without him."

Garrus followed suite with Tali's previous reaction; slamming his own fist into Javik's jaw, this time on the left side. He then grabbed the cynical alien by the collar and shoved him out of the cabin.

"You. Stay. Away from her." He growled. His best friend was in all honesty, likely dead, and here someone was rubbing salt in the wounds of Tali's loss. If Javik hadn't been a colleague he had fought with several dozen times (no matter how little they got along) he would have ripped his throat out and let him drown in a pool of his own blood.

He then slammed his hand into the door control closing it. "EDI, I want you to keep Javik off this floor." He said to the damaged AI that now barely ran the ship.

"Hey, come here." He said to Tali, helping her up.

He took her to the couch where they sat down. "Almost all of the systems have been repaired. We should be back to Earth in a few days. He'll probably be waiting for you when we land. We'll find him."

"But... wha-what if..." She didn't need to finish her sentence.

"Then you can kick my ass all the way back to the First Contact War if it'll make you feel better." His mandibles were spaced slightly farther apart in his vain attempt of a smile. "This wouldn't be the first time he'd come back from the dead. He's too stubborn."

* * *

"Why?" Markus barked at Miranda.

"Why the hell do I have to go through physical therapy?"

"I think we went over this yesterday Shepard."

"Then you shouldn't have a problem convincing me to do it." He wasn't trying to get out of it cause he hated it, he just wanted to curl up and let the world pass him by.

"That'd be right, but you haven't gotten out of bed for the last three days."

"Well then I'd hate to ruin the streak." He pulled his blanket tight with his temporary prosthetic hand.

"Besides, these damn things don't work right."

"They seemed to be working just fine at Ceres café." The incident she was referring to happened five days earlier.

* * *

**Ceres café, five days ago**

After two days of constant nagging from his mother he had finally gone somewhere other than the mess tent and the doctor's 'office'. He was sitting alone, having a cup of tea. He couldn't remember the brand, or even what kind of tea it was, not that it mattered.

"Hey, you're him aren't you?" One of the local patrons asked Mark. "You're that Commander Shepard aren't you?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'm Shepard." He had gotten used to the gawking, though in the last few weeks they had significantly cut back; mostly because they had been busy trying to re-build London. And the rest of Earth.

Most of the debris from the various buildings had been piled up and were being sorted through on whether or not to immediately use it for reconstruction, or to mix it with other materials for later use.

"I don't mean to intrude, but it's rather crowded. It wouldn't be a bother if I joined would it?"

"Sure I guess." He motioned with the prosthetic hand the Geth had installed in place of the left hand he had lost. At present it was simply a bone-like graft though they promised a better, more full hand once they had access to more supplies, that what was on Earth needed to be rationed as far as it could until supply ships started coming in.

But he didn't want it to be replaced with a better one. He didn't even want what he had. The same went for his leg.

"My name is Ryan. So, what's it like being the biggest hero in all of history?" He asked. There was a distinctive southern American drawl in his voice.

Markus absently shrugged in response to his question. "Don't much care."

"Are you kidding me? Why? What could be bringing you down?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not? Come on! I'm a good shoulder to lean on, a fellow to spill your deepest troubles."

"I said forget it. That's my polite way of saying 'back the hell off. Now'. Are we clear?"

"Ah, so a girlfriend I take it. Would have been one of your crew or some reporter would have been able to dig and get a name."

Shepard was eying him with a 'if you keep this up I will rip your foot off and jam it in your mouth' look.

"Was it that brunette Marine? Man was she was hot!"

"No, no it wasn't Ash." He conceded to himself that some form of social contact might be good for him.

"Okay, that news chick who was reporting from the Normandy then?"

"Wrong again. Look, just drop it okay."

"Fine, fine, fine. I don't mind which way ya are. Just, one last question?"

"As long as you agree to leave me alone afterwards." Shepard was stirring his tea idly by gently swirling the cup in a slow circle.

"What did you feel when you killed our gods?" That caught his full attention; the cup stopped moving, his head didn't change angle but the eyes, those shot up to meet Ryan's in full alert mode. He was on the lookout for the slightest hint of aggression.

The rest of the café went deadly silent, unsure whether to go on as they were or to get out quickly.

"What did you just say?"

"I said," Ryan's hand quietly slipped into his jacket.

"How did it feel when you ruined our chance for SALVATION!" He brought the dagger he had concealed up and lunged for Shepard's head.

Instinctively kicking the table up between himself and his attacker, Shepard rolled out of his chair and the patrons fled out the door, the still destroyed wall, any which way they could in fear that they would be the next target.

Ryan then started ranting. "WE WERE ON THE VERGE OF GREATNESS! AND YOU RUINED OUR SALVATION!" He took another swing at Shepard, this one going to slash his chest.

Moving his cybernetic hand in the way, he flicked his fingers as the blade went between the ascetic bone-like superstructure that was all that it currently consisted of.

The blade shattered between the metal fingers, shards raining down on the floor.

Bringing his leg up, Markus slammed the indoctrinated man with his organic leg landing a blow to the kidneys. Continuing the momentum, he planted his foot down and brought the cybernetic leg around forming a roundhouse kick that nearly smashed Ryan's skull in. After the combo blow he didn't get back up.

Still heaving from the sudden assault, Shepard knelt down to check the man's vitals. He was dead. The authorities arrived shortly there after and filed a report on what happened: another indoctrinated agent had attacked.

* * *

**Present day, Shepard's medical tent**  


"Hey Shepard, my girl ain't bothring ya is she?" Jack asked walking into the tent.

"No I- wait, what did you just say? Did you just?" He didn't need to finish the sentence.

"You didn't tell him?"

"I've been too busy trying to get him to actually follow through with his therapy!" Most of that was directed towards Shepard as a cheap shot at his stubbornness.

"Wait, hold up, I'm confused. Jack, did you just say that Miranda is... your 'girl'? You two aren't—are you?"

"Hell yeah we are Stumpy." Markus flipped her off with his cybernetic hand. "Eh... sorry?"

"Look, she's been worried about you and she brings it home with her. Just ruins the sex. I mean, the last time I got any kind of a decent lay was right when we started—" Shepard cut her off there.

"I think I'll go down to the PT tent for a few." He said climbing out of bed. "Wrex will make sure I don't go too hard."

When both Wrex and Shepard were out of earshot Jack turned back to Miranda and slung her arm around her waist. "Told ya I could get him out of bed. Now, let's see if we can't do the opposite with you."

* * *

**ABLE/NOVEMBER:**_Despite the way this was written, Garrus doesn't, I say again DOES NOT have any romantic feelings for Tali. He sees her and Shepard like family and would do anything to keep them safe, or at least happy._

_I decided not to include Jack and Miranda going at it in Shepard's bunk (Jack really doesn't have any shame does she?) because this is a Shepard/Tali story. I'm saving all the... creative juices _;) _ for them._


End file.
